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I am clearing the desk, clearing the mind and taking that leap into what God has purposed me for. A lot of you thought I had. True confession, hadn't.
If you are a regular reader of my Facebook posts, you know that I post a lot on courage and fear and how these above all are the greatest deterrents to being all we can be. I encourage so many but it's really myself I'm talking to. You heard it here first.
God gave me an out-sized vision in 2012-2013 for a teaching, training and support "ministry" (though I hesitated to call it a "ministry") for public servant leaders.
I never, ever wanted to be one of those "women in ministry." Never. I have a number of friends who are whom I love and respect; but, that just wasn't me. Still isn't. And I've had to learn to be okay with that.
By nature I am a doer, a fighter, an innovator, charge the hill kind of person. I have always been a fighter and will drop folks in a minute because I don't have that long-suffering kind of love or patience and bristle when things and situations become overly emotional. I am definitely not the ministry type!
I have always been so sure of myself, so bold, never arrogant, but confident. There was nothing I didn't think I couldn't do if I put my mind to it. I was so sure of my politics, my convictions and my view of the world.
I blazed a bunch of trails, then seminary, then confusion, then frustration, then trying to live in a past in which I was comfortable but one long in the rear view mirror. And the future God had shown me, to be honest, scared me to death. Why? Because I couldn't control it. I'd always been in control of every step, every decision. But this? To be vulnerable with people, to not be Lone Ranger and Wonder Woman?
For the past five years I have been burying my talent and gifts and passion with cipsinc.org getting other people to speak when God told me to speak; to teach when God told me to teach; and, lead when God told me to lead. I've been trying to pour myself into a mold God never intended for me to try and squeeze into.
I have been a Saul; not the Paul one, the king one who had such a small view of himself that he never grasped the magnitude of what God called him to. He couldn't see himself as king.
Insecurity is a helluva thing - and straight from the pit of hell because it is demonically designed to deter us from fulfilling God's plan and purpose in our life and the blessing we are to be to and for others.
I thank God for great friends who have answered when I've called and a great Board of Directors who have been so very supportive.
While God has blessed Christians in Public Service to do some great things, He is not going to move as He would until I be fully obedient, not partially obedient as I have been by doing fully what He has given me the vision, experience, knowledge, skills, ability, and passion to do.
I so know why he kept telling Joshua to have courage. Partial obedience for lack of courage is no obedience at all. Though to others it looks good from the outside.
I am still that doer, fighter, innovator, charge the hill Dorothy I've always been. It is just channeled now in a different direction. I had to get used to this idea too.
I had to understand and come to grips with that. God uses us how He created us. I was born with this kind of personality - this kind of edginess. My interests, expertise and passion are still there, just re-purposed for Kingdom purposes. I am free to be all that and more in him.
This is why I will be teaching the inaugural class on Saturday, January 12, 2019 for Christians who lead in the public square, that will initiate the Christians in Public Service Center for Public Servant Leadership.
Attempting once again to bury my talents, I had asked others to lead this and teach, but God said, "NO! It's time for you to do what I've given you to do."
I will have a lot to say about leadership; the dark side of leadership; self-awareness; how to lead to win in life and career; and, moreover, reading and leading people and self in the world system of politics and public service in ways that God honors and insures good success. Throughout this unique four-hour course helping leaders recognize the correlation between their relationship with God and others and the degree of their success as leaders.
It has nothing to do with religion, but everything to do with timeless biblical principles that have proven over generations to lead to sustained success in leadership and in life. This is my assignment. This is my commitment.
As I close, in the waning days of 2018, I ask you the question I finally had to ask myself. As it relates to what you know you should be doing and what you sense God is leading you to do - I ask this one simple question, if not now, when?
Dorothy Burton is an author, conference and keynote speaker for various organizations and governments across the country. She is the author of the new book, Why We Fall: The Power of Self-Awareness.
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Published on Tuesday, November 20, 2018 @ 10:42 AM CDT